Mindfulness in its Fullest Power Balances Two Important Qualities

What does it actually mean to be mindful?

Photo by Brett Jordan on Unsplash

Today I had my usual Friday routine of grabbing my coffee that comes with a free mini cake in my favourite local bakery.

During this time every week, I have made the effort to be mindful while savouring the mini cake as it reminds me of the fairy cakes I used to eat when I was really small and gives me that warm fuzzy feeling.

Today I was in a rush and before I knew it I was home, the cake was gone, and I had no recollection of eating it.

And it made me think.

This is exactly how I go through life when I am not being mindful. I can't wait for life to happen, and before I know it, it's already gone!

Fullest power

I have learned Mindfulness is so much more than sitting quietly and trying not to think all the shitty thoughts that pop in and out of your head on a daily basis.

Mindfulness in its fullest power balances the act of relaxation and investigation. Relaxation comes first and makes the space for the investigation.

When we can bring ourselves into that relaxed state, whether it's through our breath or listening to the sounds around us, we step into a more neutral space.

The negative thoughts are still there, but they are now no longer the main event in our minds.

Our ego also can't continue to rule the roost from this neutral state.

Mindfulness and the ego do not exist together. The ego is that part of ourselves that fears suffering. Fears anything that may diminish the superstar we feel like we are.

When we become mindful, with the ego and negative thoughts no longer at the forefront, the investigation can begin.

The investigation is more like curiosity. Curiosity as to what this suffering is and instead of pushing the suffering away like the ego always ensures we do, we can start to sit with it and explore it.

Sitting with our trauma, suffering, pain, negativity, whatever you want to call it, is uncomfortable. That is why our first reaction is to always push it away but when we continue to push it away we are prolonging it and intensifying it.

I have come to realise that the only way out of suffering is getting really comfortable with the fact that you are going to be uncomfortable and getting comfortable with the fact that we need to be more curious.

We need to carve out more time to sit with ourselves in the stillness of mindfulness and be curious and open to what presents itself.

This doesn't mean that as soon as we bring awareness to our pain it will disappear but from my experience, the intensity of the pain starts to diminish and the more we do it, the less and less it becomes.

Running

I have run away from the neutral state of presence for so long that I remember very little of my childhood and teenage years and this makes me sad.

It occurred to me recently when it was my little brother's birthday and my mam shared a picture of him as a toddler and I have no recollection of him that small in my memory.

It upsets me to think that I don't have those core memories of my family as I feared what it felt like to sit in the present moment and be present with my pain.

I was also way too young at the time to even understand what the hell was going on but if I had even the slightest awareness that I have now, things would be a lot different.

We shouldn't just be learning self-awareness as adults who go on an exploration of self-discovery to try and understand why they are the way they are, it should be taught in schools so we don't continue to have generations of people who remember very little of their lives.

I'm also pretty sure my lack of memory has to do with the drug and alcohol abuse I endured on myself for years, but again, could have been avoided if I had been more self-aware and wasn't constantly running from the present moment.

I think anyone who is suffering or who has suffered in their life needs to ask themselves these questions.

What are you running from?

What core memories are you missing out on?

Life is short but we can make it feel longer if we spend more time in the present moment and don't run from it.

Make time each week to be mindful and see what presents itself.

When we approach ourselves with curiosity and less judgment that's when the magic happens.

Corey ❤️