The Sweetness of Doing Nothing
How good are you at doing nothing?
If you have ever watched Eat, Pray, Love, you will be familiar with the expression.
Il dolce far neinte — the sweetness of doing nothing.
After being busy my whole life, it never occurred to me that I had an obsession with constantly doing something, constantly trying to achieve something.
It wasn't until I moved to Australia that, suddenly only had my partner to do things with and had no real direction at the time, that the meltdowns started.
It got me thinking.
Why am I obsessed with being busy?
Being busy is my safety blanket, my escape. It is my body's way of protecting me from my mind.
Being busy was a traumatic reaction to my childhood trauma.
When I’m busy and constantly doing something, I don't have time to stop and think about how I am feeling. It wasn't until I was forced into a situation where I didn't have a choice but to sit still with my mind, that I realised what my body was trying to protect me from.
Being forced to slow down and confront your thoughts is not easy and it wasn’t an enjoyable experience. It put a strain on me and my relationship.
But it also forced me to become more self-aware. More aware that my busyness was an escape for me to numb my pain and when I took that escape away, the floodgates opened.
Prioritising Stillness
In today’s society, being busy is rewarded.
Hustle culture is real!
Work every waking minute of the day. Don't stop grinding until you become a success.
I used to think this was how you become successful. Of course, you have to work hard to become successful. But you also need to prioritise stillness and rest.
What's success when you are so burnt out, stressed, and overwhelmed to enjoy it?
When was the last time you really stopped and took a few deep breaths?
How many times have you half-listened to a loved one because you were too busy thinking about work or writing an email or text?
How many times have you worn your busyness like a badge of honour?
Do as the Italians do, and Do Nothing
Drink your coffee without distraction. Sit on the couch, turn the TV off, put the phone away, and be still. Go for a long walk with a loved one in nature. Spend a day with no plan (this would have sent me into a panic 2 years ago)
Invite stillness into your life — Eckhart Tolle
Being busy isn’t a bad thing, as long as it doesn't interfere with your everyday life and your relationships, and it’s not being used to cover up your inner demons.
Busyness is blinding. Slow down to see — Kyle Kowalski
How are you going to be less busy?
Corey ❤